Faraway Dreaming
by CarsasaAllakay
Summary: Centrally Haleb. Hanna became pregnant at the age of 18 - something she thought would never happen. Now, five years later, with her little girl asking incessantly about her father, Hanna wants to let him in. Can she though, or is her happily ever after intangible? Will she forever be stuck faraway dreaming?
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: I hadn't updated Northern Stars in so long and unfortunately lost inspiration for it. This fic - Faraway Dreaming - is a replacement fic. It's centrally Haleb, though he other girls/ couples will be featured from time to time. It takes place years after the tumultuousness of 'A' and 'A' is there no longer. I hope you enjoy! :) Read and Review. More reviews is a faster update! **_

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><p>The darkness in which she stood was lit by the penumbral light of the descending sun; it was falling down, toppling over the cumulus clouds, and taking with it a few cottony wisps while giving way to the crystalline luminescence of the moon.<p>

She watched from a proximal distance, a small child, her beautiful baby girl, frolic upon the warm, textural sand as its granules trapped themselves within the petite chasms of her toes, painted a light pink.

"Alexa." At the sound of her name, the little girl turned around, her shoulder-length brown hair - a chestnut colour - gently caressing her face with a slapping force. "Yeah mommy?"

Her dark eyes were no longer so bright, their limpidness far gone as a tiered fog set in. It was time to get her to bed.

"Time to go sweetheart. I promise we'll come back another time."

Hanna watched her reaction with a careful eye, wondering if tonight was going to be like the many others before it, ending with a petulant tantrum; those consisted of protestant squeals and cries, leaving her heart-shaped lips in a string of heretical incoherence, their audibility muffled by the antecedence of heavy sobs.

It was a surprise however, when Alexa just nodded, walking quickly into her mother's awaiting arms. "I'm pooped," she stated, the strength and energy her tiny body had possessed all at once depleting as she fell against Hanna's chest.

Hanna sighed softly, biting her lip as she affectionately stroked the top of the child's head. "Me too baby girl, me too."

Her gaze fell onto the ocean, the waves tepid and rippling. The lighthouse was quite far out, though even so one could almost always see the sparkling light above the water; it danced along its wrinkles, the aureate circle splayed out atop its salty blue.

It was impossible, and Hanna knew as much, but it comforted her in ways not many could understand; the belief that her mother was still here, watching over her, and her daughter, in the reified form of this angelic light.

Alexa saw it too now, and she pointed, with the thumb that had been in her mouth, at the golden orb.

"It's grandma, right mommy? You told me that whenever I see the lighthouse light, that it is grandma."

Hanna nodded mutely, gingerly taking Alexa's thumb from where it was once again placed.

"Honey, hasn't mommy told you already? No more thumb-sucking. Okay?"

"Mhm," she responded, leaning against her mother's side as though to push all of her weight up against Hanna's hip. "I'm tiered. Can we go?"

"We sure can," Hanna smiled, blowing a kiss out towards the water and watched as her daughter did the same, albeit with a more languid motion as her eyes began to droop sleepily.

"Night Night grandma," Alexa whispered, little voice becoming befogged as she yawned.

"Goodnight mom, I miss you," Hanna murmured, taking her daughter's hand in hers as they walked now towards their parked car.

Ashley Marin died prematurely, suffering from a spontaneous heart attack a few years after Hanna's eighteenth birthday, a few months before Alexa had turned five. She had been complaining of constant chest pains, brushing them off as nothing more than indigestion for a few weeks before it happened. It was in the Dilaurentis' office, and Jason was present in time to see her laying there, on the floor, already dead. They say she passed away instantly. Her heart just...stopped.

As her only daughter, Hanna inherited the property, and, because she lived in the house where she'd grown up, thought of her mother constantly; memories circled the fan in the living room - as it rotated in an oscillating movement - cooling the room and alerting her of a ghostly presence.

Once Hanna and her daughter had gotten home, it was after seven thirty - Alexa's bedtime - and the little girl was feeling the effects; her head was laying on her mother's shoulder, eyes closed, and the trip upstairs was lulling her into a what was to be a heavy sleep.

"Goodnight Lex," Hanna whispered, kissing the forehead of her little girl. "I love you."

After tucking Alexa into bed, Hanna walked back downstairs, curling up on the armchair with a fuzzy blanket pooled at her feet, feeling too warm already without the extra heat of the fleecy throw.

Hanna felt particularly nostalgic on this night. She yearned, without reason, for the tangibility of such happy memories, and as she began turning the pages of one photo album, fingers playing mindlessly with the yellowing edges of each, she became wistful too, for those that weren't so happy.

_"Caleb," her voice was quiet, tentative, unsure. _

_There she stood, in a cable-knit sweater, its creme color seeming very wintery against the chilled redness of her cheeks. "I don't think I can - I don't think we should..."_

_"Don't you say that Han." _

_She shook her head, curls bouncing the smallest bit in her adamancy. He looked at her as though she'd killed his very reason for living - with large, darkened eyes, adjectival to a wounded puppy. "I won't let you." _

_Hanna turned quickly around, to avoid seeing his face any longer. She walked with faded breaths, each one a foggy observable in the pitch of the sky. "You just did." _

Allowing her hand to make a small print on his photographed face, she sighed upon wiping away the tear that had fallen on its surface. In this picture, Caleb was smiling, unlike the one before, where she and him stood outside the Rosewood church - he with a stoic expression and her seeming pained, the emotion making a visible crease along her cheek. That was the day of Mona's funeral - a day she remembered all to well.

This next photo however, the smiling one, depicted a happier time.

_She screeched and squealed due to his fingers running along her stomach as he laughed, finding her sudden embodiment of a little girl to be humorous._

_ "Babe, shush. We're in a public place. What are you, five?" _

_Hanna giggled, "close. I'm turning six in three months Daddy. You're wrong."_

_Caleb smirked, holding her tighter to him, becoming almost proprietary as he placed a smoldering kiss to her supple lips._

_"I'm sorry Princess, that's what I meant," he apologized, spinning around before sitting on the nearby bench with her on his lap. _

_Hanna stood up abruptly, taking him by surprise. "Can we get some ice cream?" _

_"Of course," Caleb obliged as he too rose to his feet, taking her hand. _

_The couple took relaxing strides across the scorching pavement, their flip-flops and beating hearts attuned to one another. _

_They'd spent the majority of the hot summer day at the county fair, eating hotdogs and riding every roller coaster, indulging in an unspoken togetherness as they screamed in terror - finding great enjoyment in adolescent behavior. _

_Now, licking their ice cream cones in an amicable silence, Caleb grabbed for her hand once again, intertwining their fingers. "Today was fun," he began as a means of conversation. _

_Though Hanna didn't feel like talking. She just leaned against his sturdy body, biting into the crunchiness of her cone with an affirming nod. _

With a swipe of her hand, Hanna moved on to the next picture, watching as the Farriswheel, with its colorful exterior, disappeared from view as a baby grand piano took its place.

She smiled softly, the movement upturning her lips into a ruminative slope. It was this picture.

Hanna stood affronting the piano, her black and white color scheme matching its keys. She had a radiant grin on her face, its grandiosity heightening her cheekbones some, and with her hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail, her petite forehead was exposed. Caleb was beside her, arm wrapped loosely around her waist as though to be cautious of her porcelain delicacy, tiny features reminding him much of a doll.

_On many occasions, he's whispered in her ear these exact words, but never before with such lustful sibilance. "Wanna take a little nap babydoll?"_

_She shivered, his boozy breath pinpricking the smooth skin of her neck. "I'll lay you down." _  
><em><br>Hanna looked to her friends lounging with such sociability around the bar. Spencer was leaning against Toby's chest, nursing the same daiquiri she'd had since the night began. Virgin one no doubt. Rolling her eyes, she looked to Aria who was gaily nattering about this book she and Ezra had read, cheeks flushed with inebriation. Ezra's arm was gripping his girlfriend's waist and this saved her, multiple times, from tripping on nothing but her own feet. Emily was sitting on a barstool, twisting around and around as she downed another fireball, her eyes misty with a drunken haze. She threw her head back in obstreperous laughter, a cackle that made even the evilest of witches cringe. _

_Focussing her gaze on her boyfriend, Hanna grinned wanly, ready to open herself to him in a way she hadn't yet. _

_Suddenly, Hanna shot forward, shoved by a man with beady eyes and greying hair. Sans apologizing, he took a seat at the piano, beginning to play without word. _

_Caleb reciprocated her smile, gripping her hips as though to steady her swaying frame. The song Lay Me Down emanated in a lower pitch from the instrument, the litheness of the man's spindly fingers coming as a surprise. _

_"I love this song," Hanna murmured, her head resting on Caleb's chest. "And I love you, so yes." _

_"You want to?"_

_"I want to." _

_Hanna grabbed his hand, turning around to glance one last time at her friends, all intoxicated and happy. It came as a fleeting thought, disappearing as fast as it appeared, that, just maybe, she was in that same state: unable to fully process her actions and its repercussions. _

_When the sunrise dabbled with a painter's hand along her face, submerging her surroundings in a yellowish tinge, the room was one she didn't recognize; however, the boy pressed against her - skin-to-skin - was clear as day._

"Mommy?" Alexa's voice reached her slowly, like it was traveling through molasses- thick and gooey.

The little girl stood at the foot of the stairway. Her chocolate eyes were rimmed red and filled with a damp rheum. Her hair was mused from sleep and there was evidence of tears along her weathered cheeks, streaks darkening her fair skin tone.

"I can't sleep. I had a nightmare. Is my daddy a monster who wants to eat me?"

Hanna gasped, letting the photo album fall to the ground as she stood. As it fell, it remained open to that last photo she had been looking at.

"No Lexa," she'd semi-admonished, careful to keep her voice from bridging into hysteria. "He's the greatest, most gentlest, man ali-I- he's amazing baby."

Alexa nodded mutely, allowing her mother to carry her back upstairs and into bed. When she was enveloped in the covers with her many stuffed animals flanking her sides, Alexa tugged lightly on Hanna's blonde tresses, capturing her attention.

"How come daddy doesn't live with us? A normal family has a mommy, daddy and a baby. We're not a normal family. I want to be normal Mommy, please."

Hanna sighed, growing exhausted from the strenuous effort of keeping face. She wanted so badly to break down in tears, curl up in a ball, and never get back up as long as she lived. Her daughter was the only thing that kept her going, her grounding force.

"Alexandra Phoebe Marin. We are a normal family. I promise you. I love you so, so, much. My love is enough for both me and your daddy," she sighed again, voice cracking, "if it will make you happy sweetheart, I will take you to meet him. I will."

Alexa reached her arms up, hugging her mother close. "Thank you Mommy. I hope he loves me as much as you do."

Hanna kissed her daughter's cheek, wiping tenderly at the few tears that hadn't dried. "I know he will baby girl."

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><p><em><strong>Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter :) Any predictions as to what has happened to Caleb? Yes, he is Alexa's father. :) <strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note: Here's Chapter 2! I hope that because I took forever to update that nobody has given up on this story, it has just begun! I just wrote this today, but I'm pretty sick, so it's not my best and it's super short/ Eek. Double sorry. Things will become clear in the next chapter through flashbacks pertaining to what happened to Caleb in more detail. A few of you got "what happened to him?" right so, applause. :) Anyway, onto the next chapter, and please continue to review, and those who have, thank you! Reviews are most definitely a writer's motivation! :)  
><strong>_

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>The sleek, stark white of the room was pristine; though the linoleum of the floors wasn't slippy - so one couldn't spontaneously launch into the Risky Business dance - but rather sticky, like congealed syrup stuck atop a granite counter.<p>Her daughter's hand rested in her's, their mute chatter matching the ambient of the room: where traces of anxiousness and unease were practically tasted, unpalatable to the tongue.<p>

A curtain was pulled abruptly to the side, and now, without its opacity, he who lay there on the bed was stripped of that anonymity, and something about that, at least to the little girl who pulled forcefully on Hanna's hand, was intriguing.

"Is that...Is that daddy?" Alexa murmured, becoming caught up in her emotions as they blanketed her facial features: a shadow, smooth like silk, darkening her coca eyes.

Hanna nodded numbly, already regretting her decision. She wasn't mentally prepared to face this reality just yet. Though life is short, this was learnt the hard way, and Alexa needed to have a concrete representation of a father, even if, at this moment, he was only a sleeping semblance of the real thing.

"Can I...can I hug him? Or just say hi?"

Hanna placed a gentle kiss onto her daughter's head and looked covertly to the tending nurse for confirmation, receiving a careful smile in return. "You can, Lex. Do you want me to go in front?"

"No," Alexa stated, pressing a hand to her mother's, pushing it slightly. "I wanna tell daddy what I'm making you for your birthday."

Hanna was hesitant but followed behind a few steps, and looked on with bated breaths as her daughter interacted with her comatose father.

From her vintage point not so far from where Alexa and Caleb reside, Hanna tipped her head to the side, struggling to pick up the foggy whisperings that delicately danced along her eardrums.

"Hi daddy. Mommy calls me her baby girl, so that means that I am your baby girl too. My name is Alexandra, and my second name is Phoebe. Everyone calls me Alexa."

Hanna smiled adoringly, leaning against a chair that had been placed inside the curtained space.

"I asked mommy why she named me that, and do you want to know what she said? She said that Alexandra was your favorite girl's name and she picked Phoebe because that's the name of her favorite person from that TV show. Isn't that cool daddy? I love my name because you helped choose it and mommy too."

Hanna felt a tear, like light precipitation on a warm, spring day, gently kiss her face.

Alexa leaned in a bit closer to her father's ear, her voice, contradictorily orotund as she said: "I'm making mommy a special cupcake in my Easy Bake oven for her birthday. You can't tell her daddy. Okay?"

Hanna giggled, somewhat quietly, for she knew that particular sentence was not meant for her ears.

"Okay daddy?"

"Okay?"

"Do you promise?"

"Pinky swear?"

Hanna sighed, and enrobed within its heaviness was a strangled sob. "Lex, he can't...daddy can't...hear you right now..."

"Why mommy?" Alexa asked, a dawning conclusiveness making her eyes appear almost iritic. "Is he sleeping?"

Laying a small, pruny hand atop the child's shoulder, the aging duty nurse nodded with a sympathetic murmur. "That he is, sweet pea."

Hanna walked over to them, picked up her daughter, and briskly, though politely, thanked the somber woman: with her hair flat against her cheeks, her pointed features were ashen, regretful even.

"You're most certainly welcome."

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>Alexa was laying on the other side of her mother's bed, curling and uncurling her fingers. It was past midnight, the green numbers silently iterating such, and the abnormal redness that plagued her sunken cheeks was an indicative that sleep was unforthcoming. The child groaned, her mewling sounding much like a newborn's starved cry.<p>"I'm here Lex, it's okay sweetheart, Mommy's here."<p>

Hanna was quick to return, having heard her daughter's mercuriality. She leaned over the bed, placing the plastic glass of water on the nightstand.

Feeling her head, Hanna reasoned, without retaking her temperature, that Alexa's fever had noticeably increased, and this worried her. It was at 102 the last time, and now she could fairly assume at least a couple degrees higher. Emily had advised, as calmly as ever when Hanna phoned in a frenzied panic, to go to the ER if it reached above 106.

At Alexa's screechy command, Hanna passed her daughter the water glass, along with two chewable children's tylonel. The little girl took them gratefully, gulping down the water a second later to rid her mouth of the grit from the medicine tablets.

"Thank you Mommy," Alexa whispered feebly, turning onto her stomach. She shivered somewhat violently and rubbed her arms. "I'm reaalllyyy cold."

Hanna clucked sympathetically, hating that she couldn't do much else other than cover her with another blanket. "Is that any better, Lex?" she questioned sadly, laying an open palm against the little girl's clammy forehead.

With a shake of her head, Alexa sulked, pouty lip quivering some. "I'm too hot now," she stated, a tear falling down her ruddy cheek, paving a zig-zag path along her weathered skin.

"Mommy, you're supposed to make me feel better, why aren't you making me feel better!?" she wailed, tightly shutting her eyes and shying away from the thermometer Hanna held.

"No thomemeter. I don't like it when you do that. It hurts my ears."

Hanna sighed, carefully sticking it in her right ear despite the preceding protests. "I've gotta baby girl, I need to see if I have to take you to the doctor or not."

Alexa flinched, as if triggered by an invisible force, moving away from her mother as soon as her current temperature was cited.

"No. Doctors are scary. I don't wanna go!"

Hanna gave another tired sigh, her exhalation seeming oddly quiet intermixed with the whines that tumbled from her daughter's lips, teeming with a childly stigmatic paranoia.

Her temperature read 105, and Hanna was determined to be safe, rather than sorry. "Lexi," Hanna broached the subject with much caution, "We're gonna go see Auntie Emily now, okay?"

Alexa was confused, "At home? It's so late?"

"No Lexi, at work."

"Oh." There was no fighting, no fuss, as Hanna took her daughter and grabbed her purse, pulling on her jacket.

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>"You can come in now Han...she's of stable temperature now." Emily straightened her green scrubs, tightening the ponytail that held tightly to her raven hair.<p>"Thanks so much Em. I knew you'd take great care of her."<p>

As Hanna stood up from the plastic chair she'd been mostly confined to apart from her coffee run twenty or so minutes ago, Emily reached to grab a hand. "Hanna."

"Emily." Hanna responded, with the same terse tone her friend had used. "What's wrong?"

Emily took a breath, leading the blonde down a long hallway that led to the ICU and into a private room. She gestured to the sleeping child and sighed. "Lex sleep talks."

"I know...she does that a lot. It's normal Em, you make it sound detrimental to her health."

Emily brushed a stray baby hair from Hanna's head.

"Hans...she asked about...talked about...Caleb...like she knew him. Like she really TALKED to him...and he RESPONDED. Alexa may be sorting through oppressed memories of the subconscious. They're like...how can I put this in terms you may understand...it's like...hungover recollections of something that happened the night before."

Hanna said nothing, hadn't even reacted to the not-so-subtle jab thrown her way. She remained quiet, her mind focussed on that one thing - a fleeting blip that merely grazed her lashes.

Caleb was there, in her bedroom, three nights after "IT" happened. Hanna paced the room, repeating: "I can't tell you."

She barely felt Emily's presence, her tanned skin lightly caressing her shoulder.

"She remembers Han. Those times you three had before the accident...they're there...in her head...buried beneath the Santa Claus sightings and twinkles of fairy dust."

Hanna sighed, logic not quite making sense. "Okay. But I just don't know if that's a good thing...or a bad one."

She looked to her daughter again: dark hair, dark eyes - she was so much like her father.

"Good. Definitely good." Emily whispered, giving a small smile.

"No Em...it's not. What if...it was horrible of me to take her there today...triggering all of those memories...what if he never wakes up? How do I explain to my little girl that daddy isn't ever going to know what she got me for my birthday?"

Emily was momentarily confused but there was no cunctation. "Oh Han...he's strong...so so strong...he'll come out of this."

Hanna surrendered to her friend's hug, melting into the embrace as a tear fell. "He better. He can't leave us alone. I won't ever forgive him."

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><em><strong>Author's Note: So? Was it alright? What would you guys like to see happen or what do you predict? Oh! Before I forget: I think I might do a collective story with one-shots surrounding particular couples; i.e Haleb, Spoby, Ezria, and I just LOVE Vandergomery. I know, she's dead (can't get over that! ugh sigh.) and it can never happen now but they were just so cute! (I'm a little late on this bandwagon but just that episode with Aria and Mike talking a few weeks back - "What was the real Mona like?" - and Mike's crying had me dying.) I would really love to explore their dynamic, there is't many fics out there other than a select few. Anyway...until next update! <strong>_


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